A TRIBUTE TO MY BELOVED HUSBAND (EBE MMI)

Fourty Years ago, a tall, handsome young man with a heavy beard and stylish afro walked up to me with all the confidence in the world and made a statement:

“I LOVE YOU AND I WANT YOU TO BE MY WIFE’”

These words shocked and surprise me, a young girl, just twenty two, and about to start General Nursing Training at St. Luke’s Hospital. I shrugged it off- the exuberance of youth must be strong with this man, I told myself. Yet, he meant those words. They were tested strenuously by our families- nuclear and extended and by our friends. Four years, we spent in courtship. We learned about each other; strengths, weakness, goals, hopes and dreams. After these four years of courtship and discovery, those words held weight. The proposal was a proposal no longer on April 2nd, 1988.

This young man, hair a touch shorter, face a bit smoother would before our family, friends and our villages, take me as his wife. He would promise to build a life with me and I would promise to uphold him. 24 days later, the courts would see us make our final steps from mere friends to life partner. All the while his words filled my ears. Those eleven words would send me down a journey spanning 36 years, 4 months, 3 children, 2 chieftaincies, a pastoral ordination and one home. He was the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh. By the grace of God on our lives and marriages, every day, even down to the second, we waxed stronger.

You were my Godgiven husband who obeyed the instruction of the bible in Genesis 2:24. You left your parents and cleaved to me. We were joined together, and lived not as two tenants under the same roof. We became one flesh. We became one mind. (IKEMESIT)

Ebe, your were and still remain my best friend, my closest confidant. From the first day you spoke those eleven words, until your very last day, you were my companion, and I hope I was the same for you. You were the best father. You were so caring to our children and for that, I know God will bless you beyond anything the human mind can imagine.

To those on the outside, you seemed serious, strict, even harsh but I discovered differently. Deep within, beneath that exterior, you were kind, compassionate, and meek to a fault. When you believed in a course, you gave everything you had to accomplish it. You were a goal oriented and disciplined man, who made the sky a stepping stone to greater heights.   The Bible says in Mark 12:30-31 “'and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.”

My dear husband loved the Lord, his God not just with all his heart, but with all he had. He withheld nothing. Such was his love for God, combined with a thirst for knowledge that he would enroll us in Bible Colleges to learn of the dictates and precepts of the Lord, so we may grow, and so he could teach all he encountered. He loved his neighbors more than he loved himself. He was committed to giving his time, and his funding to his people. He would help anyway he could and give anything he could, sometimes, even things he could not at that moment.

Ebe, I can boldly say you lived a selfless life, and this made you Christ like. You fought the good fight and you have won the race. Now, you are crowned in glory, and with our Father resting. I know our parting is temporary, and in due time, we will meet to part no more. Until that day comes, I hope you are resting well, and I know you are watching over me, and our children

Thank you for saying those eleven words, and starting this wonderful journey, and thank you for giving me a wonderful life, my sweet husband, confidant and friend.

With all my love, Nne

A TRIBUTE TO MY FATHER - A TRAILBLAZER AND MY FIRST LEADER

My father was unscripted, a living testament to the beauty of authenticity. You navigated life like a maverick, aware of the rules but unafraid to challenge them. You went to the United States to study pharmacy but faced with long years in a foreign land, you chose to study business administration so you could come back home. Fearless in every endeavour, you carried the face and heart of a lion, inspiring those around you to embrace their own courage.

Dad loved family with a ferocity that was nothing short of remarkable. You dedicated yourself to educating and uplifting an entire generation— brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, cousins, and, most importantly, my brother, sister, and me. Many people are graduates, business owners and emerging thought leaders in their fields because of you. You made me love the news, politics and the world. As a kid, I juggled Cartoon Network in the morning with CNN at night. In many ways, I am me today largely because of You. You were not just our father; You were a father to many, a steadfast figure in the lives of countless individuals.

Your belief in the importance of family was a lesson I didn’t fully grasp until I began to build my own. Even at the end of your life, Your thoughts were rarely on yourself; instead, you poured your love and care into those You cherished, always seeking to lift others up. You wrote a history of your family to share with the world the time-honoured truths and values passed on to us by our ancestors.

My father loved hard work. One of your favourite quotes was “The only way to succeed in life is by hard work.” You instilled in all your children and those close to you a persistent work ethic and took no prisoners. Dad would never give up on a problem or issue until it was solved. You did not believe in handouts. If you wanted anything from him, you had to meet halfway by putting in the effort. Your face bore the scars of countless sleepless nights, endless meetings, many written and rewritten drafts and early morning and late night trips. Your colleagues had nothing but high praise for your diligence and dedication and always encouraged my siblings and me to emulate them. I am proud to say that we are upholding that creed.

You were a defender of the faith, drawing strength from your beliefs and embodying the wisdom of St. Augustine who once said "Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of that faith is to see what you believe.". Your faith was not just a part of you; it was the very foundation of your character, guiding you through life’s challenges and triumphs. You also promoted it unabashedly, building churches and growing the work of the Assemblies of God in Uruan, sponsoring missionaries, giving lavishly and personally sharing your faith with many. In your retirement, you joined the clergy with my mother, further entrenching your commitment to God and service to man.

Compassion radiated from you like sunlight breaking through clouds. Your heart was vast, big enough to hold everyone who sought solace in your presence. In your eyes, you could see the warmth of acceptance and understanding, a safe harbour for those weathering storms of their own.

Now, in the wake of your passing, there’s a void that resonates deeply within us. It's a Dad-filled chasm, one that echoes your laughter, your wisdom, and the lessons you imparted through your actions. You made space in our hearts not just with your words but through your unwavering example. Each memory of you serves as a reminder of the love you so freely gave, a love that transcended boundaries and embraced all.

As we carry your legacy forward, particularly for me as your heir apparent (as you loved to call me), we hold tight to the lessons you taught us about courage, compassion, and the power of family. My father was not just a man; he was a force of nature, a warrior whose spirit will forever be woven into the fabric of our lives. In honouring you, we find strength in each other and a resolve to live with the same reckless abandon and love that you so beautifully embodied.

Thank you, Daddy, for everything. You will always be our lion, guiding us with your spirit as we navigate the world without you. Your legacy will live on in the love we share and the lives we touch.

Ikemesit Okon Willie Effiong Esq. Your First Son